Are there more Ups than Downs in life as Michael Haugue's 'Six Stage Plot Structure' really makes us believe? If so, am I going to have a happy ending? I'm entitled to one after all the shit start I've had...
Hang on... I know I've got flu but is that a white fairy godmother over there? 'scuse me whilst I go bug her for a minute. "Oh fairy godmother make my dreams come true... Let me entertain and educate the masses with my stories and help me make wads off money to get me rid of my debts..."
Why she holding out her hand out - and it's my false one at that? Hang on - don't you bloody know it - she's proper Shameless - wants £50 upfront and £150 when the dream's come true. No way! She wants me to sign a 'no gaurantee release form.' What's the fantasy world coming to - DNP (Dreams Not for Paki's)... Botch that! Shrek kill the Bitch - even better slice her in half and let her marry the 'Adda from Mirpur Khas that'll teach her not to mess with a Kashmirian... She'll be having halved babies and I don't just mean mixed race either.
The BBC will have a field day doing a documentary about it. Pay me and I'll tell you how it ends - I learn fast for a mango chutney.
